Milo
To most,
Probably has no deeper meaning
Than
Chocolaty goodness
And vague links
To long ago sports days
Unless perhaps
You were
A year 9 student
At Methodist Ladies College
Where swarthy canisters
Were
(and still are I suppose)
Dolled out each Monday
At the 8 week
"Country experience"
For city slicker girls like me.
Each Monday
Houses of 8
Fought over who "owned"
This weeks gleaming green can.
(Along with cow defecations,
Marshy fields
And the sense it was
Unnatural to coop 72
15 year old girl up together)
Milo became an institution.
Incidentally Milo proved to be
My very first withdrawal
From energy
Oh Lord
I am a late night beggar
Crashing to her end.
The world is asleep
with magical dreams enchanting their minds.
While I sit here in self pity.
With no one but you to talk to.
Someone who doesn't even respond.
Anger
Sadness
Envy
Disappointment
Regret
Suicide
All cater my mind
I clutch my blanket
crying out - " Don't you feel my pain!
Can you feel it!?"
I know my hurting isn't a tragedy.
But it's something that has no antidote.
This loneliness destroys my thoughts like a tumor.
Slowly I lose all demeans of reality.
Where is my alcohol?
Where is my drugs?
Where is my knife?
Where is my sex?
Now its been three years
I had disapeared
been living a lie
the real me had died
But now things have been going down
some real bad shit happened
so shut the fuck up and listen
The man you all thought you knew wasn't real
so sit there and listen
because here's the deal
Leon is back
and I'm finished listening to you fools talking your smack
your all nothing more then another brick in the wall
and this time you wont make me fall
23 years old and I live again
resurected from the walls my mind had built to keep me in
Its true im a lover and not a fighter
but when push comes to shove you will be lieing on the ground listening to my
Now I stand alone once again,
forced to stand on the outside looking in.
Glimpses of love and peace.
things that I only experience in my dreams.
This pains me more than you know
forced to go through this life all alone.
been here before and I shall be here again,
the begining of the end.
Time slips through my hands,
like grains of sand.
I can no longer percieve where this thing shall go.
forced to watch from afar like a fly on a window.
Is it all out of my hands now?
events have lead to me being pushed away, but why?
Invisable is now what i feel.
just siting here watching from my hill.
To love and protect her is what I would h